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Thursday, January 19, 2006

So I've come to realize a few things in the past couple days:

# 1 - Yuppies are stupid

# 2 - You guys like funny little pictures of my life

# 3 - My dad reads my blog

Regarding # 1
I walked into the bagel shop the other day. A minute later, two yuppies entered.

How did I know they were yuppies?

You just know.

They reeked of Yuppyville. You could just smell the giant yuppy house with the 3.5 little preppy spoiled yuppy kids and the fluffy yuppy puppy. That and the shiny yuppy beemer mobile parked outside, the crisp yuppy collars, the leather yuppy shoes, their yuppy bottled water, and yuppy cell phone ear bud thingy, all paid for with their bright green yuppy money.

Anyway, the yuppies were hungry and wanted a yuppy bagel sandwich.

I was also hungry, but my bagel wasn't yuppy.

Why? Because I ordered a real bagel.

The yuppies ordered - you guessed it - the 'low-carb' bagel.

What. Pray tell. Is a LOW-CARB BAGEL?

How can a bagel - a bagel folks - really, be low-carb? Its a big, fluffy, baked, ball of dough. Okay, so everything in the world now can be transformed into 'low-carb', thanks to Dr. Atkins. But lets think about this. How much lower in carbs could it possibly be than a regular bagel?

That's like "fat-free" bologna... I'm sorry. Come again?

I thought that perhaps the low-carb bin was full of in fact regular bagels that the bagel boys just put on the shelf below the regular bagel bin and labeled them "low" hoping nobody would catch on (because even bagel boys know yuppies are stupid.) But someone at work said that low-carb bagels taste like Elmer's glue and you can definately tell the difference.

Oh but wait! There's more. For these yuppies did not just buy two low-carb bagels, they bought four (two for later, no doubt). Then, the two they would eat for lunch were topped with chicken salad, and turkey with mayo. THEN, they bought two regularrrr banana nut MUFFINS... THEN they bought a bag of potato chips...

One more time. PO. TAT. O. CHIPS. And I'm not talking Baked Lays.

Kinda reminds me of when someone orders a Big Mac with a diet Coke.

What the F was the point?

Yuppies. Are stupid. And they buy. What ever. Is fad.

On to # 2 -

Funny pictures on blog = many happy commenters.

I am proud to announce that I received a record 12 - yes you heard me - TWELVE comments on my happy home vs. heroine home post! I believe the only other time that happened was a post I wrote a ways back that came in second place for Zero Boss's Blogging For Books.

Now, that might not seem like very much for some people (Merit, Vicki, and the rest of you) but it was down right overwhelming for moi and almost crashed the puter. Okay not really, but darn close.

The important thing is I learned that you all like picture stories, and I like making 'em, so I'll have to come up with some more. NOT PROMISING them all the time mind you...They take some effort. You know how I feel about exerting myself.

But get you will, picture stories I must.

That was Yoda talk for, 'I will make you more picture stories'.

And finally # 3:
As you know, I recently blogged about my new kitten and my fear of being killed by my parents for getting another animal. Today I noticed a new comment on that post. And today I have discovered that my dad does infact, read my blog. And thusly -

I have been grounded.

He did not come right out and say it was 'dad', but he signed it D, which is the universal sign for Dad. I thought at first it may have been my brother because his name also starts with a D. But then I thought," why would my brother ground me" and "hey, he's not allowed to ground me", and realized it was from a higher source - It was the Big Guy and I have been busted.

Ooop - maybe I should be more careful with the F bomb too now...
Mmm, er. Nahhhh. Sometimes, its just SO necessary.

And now, yet another realization - Posting a secret on the Internet is just asking for exposure. So I can conclude that I wanted to get caught. It was simply a unique way of breaking the news to them. Now lets see if either one of us actually discusses it out loud... Earl and I are meeting the rents for dinner tomorrow. I'm not going to bring it up - I wonder if he, excuse me, "D" will...

Let the gamessss begin.
Oh My. You learn so much about yourself everyday.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Spookalot!

  1. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are spookalot!
  2. American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating spookalot from each salad served in first class.
  3. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching spookalot.
  4. Birds do not sleep in spookalot, though they may rest in her from time to time!
  5. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for spookalot, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
  6. Tradition allows women to propose to spookalot only during leap years.
  7. Marie Antoinette never said 'let them eat cake' - this is a mistranslation of 'let them eat spookalot'!
  8. Spookalot can be very poisonous if injected intravenously!
  9. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by spookalot.
  10. Scientists have discovered that spookalot can smell the presence of autism in children.
I am interested in - do tell me about

And yes. I stole this from the one and only KathyHowe.

Hey and while I'm at it, here are the answers to the meme that Z tagged me for:

Four Jobs I Have Had In My Life
1. Web designer
2. Dog groomer
3. Administrative assistant
4. Sales person for vegetable market

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over
1. Jeepers Creepers I and II
2. The Craft
3. Pulp Fiction
4. The Princess Bride

Four Places I’ve Lived
1. Deerfield, IL
2. Basking Ridge, NJ
3. Stirling, NJ
4. Bethlehem, PA

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch
1. Ghosthunters
2. Buffy
3. Charmed
4. Xena

Stop laughing at me.

Four Places I’ve Been On Vacation
1. Ocean City, Maryland
2. Cancun, Mexico
3. New Orleans, La
4. San Francisco, Ca

Four Websites I Visit Daily
3. blogs

Four Of My Favorite Foods
1. brie
2. cream cheese jalapeno poppers
3. pistachios
4. white pizzaaaaaa

Four Places I’d Rather Be:
1. home
2. not at work
3. in bed
4. in a log cabin in a meadow surrounded by enchanted woods, near a lake filled with bass, next to rolling hills, and about 4 miles from a cool city with happening night life

Four Books I’ll Read Over and Over Again:
Um. No.