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Sunday, April 24, 2005

No, I haven't been around to post anything all weekend.

Okay, that's a lie.

I may have been physically by the computer, but the truth is I have been in a slump and have not had the umf to sit and blog. Simply put, nothing has happened to blog about.

Mmm yeah, that statement is impossible. There can never be nothing to blog about so let me rephrase that.

I believe my imagination has been down with some sort of bug or something and wishes me to leave it alone for a spell - at least until if feels better.

What can I do? Perhaps it is that time of the month.

So I had my weekend and soaked none of it in -- at least nothing to blog about --- of course I'm certain something had to have leaked in, which in that case it will eventually come out. Probably similar to what's going to come out of my dogs' butts by tomorrow morning seeing as they raided the garbage can outside and ate the left over Red Lobster lobster tail from last Sunday... it will be oozing and putrid and have that non-stop run-on thing about it -

Yes, probably will resemble that.

But for now - I have no umf.

I did eat my weight in pistachios however in the hopes that it would help me get my groove on. But alas, I am empty. Except for gas, I am full of gas. But no words to write with, no inspiration, no creative ideas -

Which leads me to believe that it is the people's fault. I cannot sit around all day and watch the people and hope that they do something stupid or silly or crazy that would be blog worthy. Who has that sort of time? Yes, I blame the people for not giving me material to work with.

No. No I don't. I don't blame anyone. I could blog about anything if I tried. I could blog about a stinkbug on the dashboard of my car; I just don't feel like it.

That's not true either. I have all sorts of stories in my head about a stinkbug on the dashboard of my car that I'm just dying to get out, who doesn't? But I don't have the drive to sit and type it out ~Ha! I said drive. That’s like a pun or something~ and form the words, phrase the sentences, construct an entertaining piece...

Okay, once again, that's not true either. Wow, this is pretty much like therapy. If I just keep writing, I may solve a lot of things I don't understand about me.

Okay. I'm lazy.

Yes, that's the truth and I'm not going to argue with me about it.

But still, I have successfully written nothing in the last several minutes and someone, like you, will still read it. You will probably comment on it because I have inadvertently triggered something in your head that makes you relate to what I have written, even though it was all a bunch of jibber jabber. And I will read your comment and I will comment back, and so on, and so on, and life will be good. And we will all come to realize that we are not alone, that there are others who “can relate”...

And all along, on my sticky ass keyboard, I will still have written about nothing.

If idle hands are the devil's tools, what kind of damage could an idle mind do?