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Friday, April 01, 2005

After visiting the delightful blog of Full of it, I was inspirated to put some picts up of my children. Apparently, I don't know where more than two are right at this moment, but rest assured, I'll find the them.
I saw one of those crazy ass cars on the road again yesterday. It did a very silly thing and back traffic up for miles.

Because of yesterday, I’ve come to realize that while some cars are incapable of driving correctly, and some just need more practice using their technological upgrades, there are some out there that have issues and are just plain spiteful. Those are the ones you have to really watch out for.

I’ll give the car I saw yesterday the benefit of doubt and think perhaps it detected a shortcut and was demonstrating some sort of new off road technique (which obviously needed some improvement), but it looked more to me more like it was just really pissed off and drove right off the highway and down a big ditch into the woods.

As I crawled through traffic, I could see the car sitting there, pretending not to mind the hundreds of rubberneckers passing by. It was also pretty obvious that it was avoiding eye contact with the NJ State Trooper, who was scratching his forehead under the brim of his oversized hat. The car was pretty darn stuck and surrounded by trees and mud. Must have been pretty humiliating for it.

And oh, the poor driver.

The driver stood in the grass in front of the car. He had one hand in the pocket of his Dockers and the other was holding a cell phone to his ear; undoubtedly releasing some built up tension to the dealer about his misbehaving car. I could tell the poor man was frazzled; his leather loafers were all dirty, his wispy gray hair was disheveled, and he had missed a button on his sweater.

My fellow rubberneckers and I crawled on until we couldn’t turn our necks any farther back to look, and traffic finally broke loose. I patted my car on the dashboard and gave it a reassuring steering wheel squeeze. Then I glanced with suspicious eye at the cars around us, wondering what the chances were that one was about to act up like that one in the woods did, or if there was one dying to try out some new technological upgrade the rest of us weren’t aware even existed.

It seems everyday I'm seeing more and more of these cars out there. Some can be treated, others are hopeless. So be careful, my friends. Keep your eyes peeled, be safe out there, and take caution. If you fear you may already be driving a car with issues, find a lake. You know what to do.
That's South Side talk for 'Happy April Fool's Day everyone'. Our school systems must be so proud.

I ran into my first April Fools joke of the morning when my coworker told me Britney Spears had given birth to triplets… I told her that was impossible since only yesterday the rumor was she was pregnant by only by a couple months or something. But she insisted it was true and showed me the newspaper to prove it - Welllll, if its in the newspaper, it MUST be true… then when I read that two of the names Britney picked out were Peach and Pocahontas, I said Nooo Wayyy (although, Ms. Paltrow could prove me wrong on that.) I flipped the top of the paper up to see “APRIL FOOLS! There is absolutely no truth to these Dish items”.

Well April Fools to my coworker as she’s out spreading the news to the entire building, ‘cause if she can fall for that bull crap, then I’m not showing her the headline.

Am I mean or what?