GOOOOODDDDD AFTERNOOONNNN Y'ALL

Happy Monday. Oxymoron, I know.

FYI - I have no internet connection at home right now, and will continue to not have it until the evening of November 16th. We had to switch our service provider to Verizon and that is the soonest they can have us turned on... So if you've noticed that I'm not visiting you, my bloggetty friends, very much lately, I apologize - but it won't be forever so bear with me, peas.

Well at least we're getting closer to the holidays. Happy times for me. I LOVE the holidays. And this year, we will be able to put up our new Christmas tree for the very first time.

I don’t know if you remember, but this new Christmas tree I speak of was the result of the best deal I ever had in 2005. If you do, skip down to the bottom. If you want a short refresher, read on:

It was shortly after the holidays and Walmart was having their "After Xmas" sale, slashing the fake tree prices by 50%. I was not there to get a tree. No, I was there to buy birdseed. But as I came around the corner, I couldn't help to notice the most bestest, grandest specimen of all fake trees ever.

There she stood, all 7-feet of her glowing in pine-nificance with lush green branches spread out just begging for lights and ornaments to grace her splended needles...

Yes siree bob, she was a beaut. She completely dominated the stage and put the other trees to shame. Fir sure.

And what's this? An $80 price tag reduced to $40?? Could life be any sweeter? But alas, only one box of her left! I skipped on over to claim it, when some twit with a cup of coffee saw me coming and sat his big ass down on the box. Curses! I've been foiled.

Well, he wasn't about to stop me from taking advantage of the biggest sale of year in trees.

I glanced over at the other trees to see if there was another one I could settle for, but well, they just sucked. So I flagged down a Walmart gal and asked her if there were anymore of these trees in the back, and sadly she informed me that they did not. But, she began, would I like to have this floor model?

REALLY? I can DO that??

To make a long story short (-er), we started taking down the tree and loading it into 2 big boxes (it was that big), all the while I am yelling at myself about getting involved in such a purchase. After all, I have a perfectly good 5' tall tree at home that is a little fuller than Charlie Brown's tree, so why do I need something so lush and beautiful... Ha. Very funny. Shut up and keep packing. And while you're at it, figure out how you're going to fit these 2 boxes into your Cavalier...

But that's Amy for you. I say Yes first. Then I figure out How.

The Walmart gal apparently never saw the price tag on the tree because while I was stuffing branches into the box, she had gone over to ask her manager how much to sell me the tree for. She came back to me with a smile, and spat out, "25".

"What's 25?" I asked..

"The tree. The tree is 25."

"Really?!" as I, Miss Honest, reluctantly turned over the $40 price tag and showed her.

"Oh. I didn't know it had a tag. Oh well, my manager said to give it to you for $25 so merry Christmas."

Hot damn! Don't have to twist my arm bucko... And off I went to the register, pushing one of the huge boxes in my cart and dragging the other one behind me by hand.

And yes, people were starring. But it was only out of pure jealousy, I assure you.

The gal told register guy to ring me up for $25, and even then he made a mistake and punched in .25 cents. He realized his mistake and fixed it, just as I was about to snort in happiness that this deal keeps getting better and better. But I hand him his $25 and proceed to cram that tree into every inch of poor car's insides.

Incidentally, car has managed to fit everything I have ever told it to, including but not limited to: Two 6-foot fake Ficus trees complete with basket bottoms - Two 4-foot live Hibiscus trees along with 6 bags of cedar mulch - One 5-foot live Dogwood AND one 5-foot live Cherry tree who found their way out through the sunroof...

Again. First say Yes. Then ask How.

SO ANYWAY - Just in case none of you remembered my tree story - there it is. And I'm going to be able to put it up super soon! I am not paying any attention to when the "proper" time for decorating for Christmas would be - This year, I'm ready now.

In addition, this weekend Earl and I started painting (whooo hoooo!!) the family room "Rapture Red". I will post pictures sometime this week to show you all how BEAUTIFUL the room is going to be. And this TREE will be right in the corner, waiting for Santa to slide down the banister with presents cause we aint got no fireplace. Next year, hopefully, he'll have a wood-burning stove to squeeze through...