BRAIN FART AWARDS

I am proud to announce, that even since I posted the latest BFA's this morning, we have EVEN MORE entries for the...

BRAIN FART AWARDS II

Z has submitted a couple from her own M (can you believe that two M's of equal brain farting ability can exist in one world? Well, apparently it's true.) - And now it seems more have joined in the fun! Hooray!

And since the BFAs were my idea, I can declare that a contestant may be entered more than once as people can have more than one brain fart in a lifetime.

Here are our nominees:

Entry # 1
For the guy who tried to pull into McDonalds by driving his car up the sidewalk ramp for pedestrians and bicycles.

Entry #2

For my M - who thought chicks were mistreated because we "make 'em pop out of those shells."

Lastest entries:
Entry #3:
For my M (once again) - who when I was explaining about being stuck in traffic due to some sort of accident that I never actually saw but rather only saw a single SUV on the side of the road, said to me, "Maybe the SUV was an ambulance. Did it have lights on top?"

Entry #4 (submitted by Z)
For Z's friend M - who told Z that she couldn't call her on her cell phone because she didn't know where Z would BE.

Entry #5 (submitted by Z)
For Z's friend M (yet again - see what I mean?) - for wanting to know what a pickle bush looked like.

Entry #6 (submitted by Holy Schmidt)

For Schmidt - For asking her son during a power outage to get the cordless phone so she could call work to tell them she was going to be late... For then realizing that the cordless wouldn't work with out power... And then insisting that her son plug her dead cell phone in so it could charge.

Entry #7

For B - who when told the song on the radio happened to be number one in England on the day I was born, asked me, "You were born in England?"

Entry #8 (submitted by Jenorama)
For Jen - who stalled the blender while making pesto, so decided to tap it down with a wooden spoon - with the blender still on.

Entry #9 (submitted by Karl)

For Karl - who thought his speedometer was broken for the past two weeks only to have it pointed out by a passenger last night that he'd accidentally switched the digital readout to kilometers.

Entry #10

For Earl - who lost his keys for 36 hours because he put them in refrigerator’s crisper drawer.

Entry #11

For Earl - who shipped his boss’s house/car keys to Texas inside a customer’s package.

Entry #12 (submitted by Vicki)

For Vicki - for thinking she could open up the sprinkler system by herself... So she could save $55... Apparently, its not as easy as it looks.
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More entries to follow as they present themselves to me. Please feel free to submit anything you consider a Brain Fart.

And for those of you who missed the results of our very first BFA, may I present to you our winners:

BRAIN FART AWARDS I

First Place -
To the girl down at our McDonalds, who asked me when I ordered a plain cheeseburger, if I "wanted the meat with that."

Tied for Second Place (cause they're all so good) -
To Steve, who kindly dumped the remaining half of his water bottle into my fake plant.

For Amy, who realized the hard way that you have to remove the tampon applicator.

For Earl, who thought only the stink bug would catch fire if he shot it point blank with a torch - on the couch.

For Little Joe, who put Tiger Balm on his eyelids because Earl told him it would feel good.

For Earl and friends, who thought it would be cool to catch the hackie sack on fire and then kick it into a tree.

For my M, who thought lettuce grew in trees (and was collected like coconuts.)

For Amy, who poured the oil in deep fryer and not in the crock that goes inside the deep fryer.

For Kevin, who thought it would be funny to drive Mr. Daschke's car into the pond.

For Earl and Kenny, who slammed into the back of a brand new Cadillac because they were looking at the police officer behind them (Kenny was driving.)

For Chris, who lit a bottle rocket and threw it in the air directly above Amy's hair.

For Earl, who threw the Chinese Throwing Star so hard it bounced off the wall and hit Amy in the eye.

For Cane, who when Earl told him to "put your throat in my hands", he did.

For Tex, who got hit in the thigh with a red paint ball from Earl's paint ball gun, and thought someone had really shot him.

For Keri, who fell down the stairs looking for ghosts in Amy's basement.

For Amy, who thought salt looked good enough to chug.

For Jack and Ozzy, who thought they could pull an entire turkey off the stove and eat it, bones and all, without getting sick or having anyone find out.

For Tabi, who thought you could flush a dish towel.

For Earl, who thought the flame would stop at the end of the string when he tried to singe it off Amy's 100%polyester pants - while she was wearing them.

For my M, who thought chicks were their own species and remained chicks their entire life.

For Julie's brother, who decided to stick his hand in the spokes while he was riding his bike.

For Amy, who, just for shits and giggles, drove across the highway with someone on the hood of the car, only to be reported by the mayor's father and caught by the chief of police who now works with her.