So I've come to realize a few things in the past couple days:
# 1 - Yuppies are stupid
# 2 - You guys like funny little pictures of my life
# 3 - My dad reads my blog
Regarding # 1
I walked into the bagel shop the other day. A minute later, two yuppies entered.
How did I know they were yuppies?
You just know.
They reeked of Yuppyville. You could just smell the giant yuppy house with the 3.5 little preppy spoiled yuppy kids and the fluffy yuppy puppy. That and the shiny yuppy beemer mobile parked outside, the crisp yuppy collars, the leather yuppy shoes, their yuppy bottled water, and yuppy cell phone ear bud thingy, all paid for with their bright green yuppy money.
Anyway, the yuppies were hungry and wanted a yuppy bagel sandwich.
I was also hungry, but my bagel wasn't yuppy.
Why? Because I ordered a real bagel.
The yuppies ordered - you guessed it - the 'low-carb' bagel.
What. Pray tell. Is a LOW-CARB BAGEL?
How can a bagel - a bagel folks - really, be low-carb? Its a big, fluffy, baked, ball of dough. Okay, so everything in the world now can be transformed into 'low-carb', thanks to Dr. Atkins. But lets think about this. How much lower in carbs could it possibly be than a regular bagel?
That's like "fat-free" bologna... I'm sorry. Come again?
I thought that perhaps the low-carb bin was full of in fact regular bagels that the bagel boys just put on the shelf below the regular bagel bin and labeled them "low" hoping nobody would catch on (because even bagel boys know yuppies are stupid.) But someone at work said that low-carb bagels taste like Elmer's glue and you can definately tell the difference.
Oh but wait! There's more. For these yuppies did not just buy two low-carb bagels, they bought four (two for later, no doubt). Then, the two they would eat for lunch were topped with chicken salad, and turkey with mayo. THEN, they bought two regularrrr banana nut MUFFINS... THEN they bought a bag of potato chips...
One more time. PO. TAT. O. CHIPS. And I'm not talking Baked Lays.
Kinda reminds me of when someone orders a Big Mac with a diet Coke.
What the F was the point?
Yuppies. Are stupid. And they buy. What ever. Is fad.
On to # 2 -
Funny pictures on blog = many happy commenters.
I am proud to announce that I received a record 12 - yes you heard me - TWELVE comments on my happy home vs. heroine home post! I believe the only other time that happened was a post I wrote a ways back that came in second place for Zero Boss's Blogging For Books.
Now, that might not seem like very much for some people (Merit, Vicki, and the rest of you) but it was down right overwhelming for moi and almost crashed the puter. Okay not really, but darn close.
The important thing is I learned that you all like picture stories, and I like making 'em, so I'll have to come up with some more. NOT PROMISING them all the time mind you...They take some effort. You know how I feel about exerting myself.
But get you will, picture stories I must.
That was Yoda talk for, 'I will make you more picture stories'.
And finally # 3:
As you know, I recently blogged about my new kitten and my fear of being killed by my parents for getting another animal. Today I noticed a new comment on that post. And today I have discovered that my dad does infact, read my blog. And thusly -
I have been grounded.
He did not come right out and say it was 'dad', but he signed it D, which is the universal sign for Dad. I thought at first it may have been my brother because his name also starts with a D. But then I thought," why would my brother ground me" and "hey, he's not allowed to ground me", and realized it was from a higher source - It was the Big Guy and I have been busted.
Ooop - maybe I should be more careful with the F bomb too now...
Mmm, er. Nahhhh. Sometimes, its just SO necessary.
And now, yet another realization - Posting a secret on the Internet is just asking for exposure. So I can conclude that I wanted to get caught. It was simply a unique way of breaking the news to them. Now lets see if either one of us actually discusses it out loud... Earl and I are meeting the rents for dinner tomorrow. I'm not going to bring it up - I wonder if he, excuse me, "D" will...
Let the gamessss begin.
# 1 - Yuppies are stupid
# 2 - You guys like funny little pictures of my life
# 3 - My dad reads my blog
Regarding # 1
I walked into the bagel shop the other day. A minute later, two yuppies entered.
How did I know they were yuppies?
You just know.
They reeked of Yuppyville. You could just smell the giant yuppy house with the 3.5 little preppy spoiled yuppy kids and the fluffy yuppy puppy. That and the shiny yuppy beemer mobile parked outside, the crisp yuppy collars, the leather yuppy shoes, their yuppy bottled water, and yuppy cell phone ear bud thingy, all paid for with their bright green yuppy money.
Anyway, the yuppies were hungry and wanted a yuppy bagel sandwich.
I was also hungry, but my bagel wasn't yuppy.
Why? Because I ordered a real bagel.
The yuppies ordered - you guessed it - the 'low-carb' bagel.
What. Pray tell. Is a LOW-CARB BAGEL?
How can a bagel - a bagel folks - really, be low-carb? Its a big, fluffy, baked, ball of dough. Okay, so everything in the world now can be transformed into 'low-carb', thanks to Dr. Atkins. But lets think about this. How much lower in carbs could it possibly be than a regular bagel?
That's like "fat-free" bologna... I'm sorry. Come again?
I thought that perhaps the low-carb bin was full of in fact regular bagels that the bagel boys just put on the shelf below the regular bagel bin and labeled them "low" hoping nobody would catch on (because even bagel boys know yuppies are stupid.) But someone at work said that low-carb bagels taste like Elmer's glue and you can definately tell the difference.
Oh but wait! There's more. For these yuppies did not just buy two low-carb bagels, they bought four (two for later, no doubt). Then, the two they would eat for lunch were topped with chicken salad, and turkey with mayo. THEN, they bought two regularrrr banana nut MUFFINS... THEN they bought a bag of potato chips...
One more time. PO. TAT. O. CHIPS. And I'm not talking Baked Lays.
Kinda reminds me of when someone orders a Big Mac with a diet Coke.
What the F was the point?
Yuppies. Are stupid. And they buy. What ever. Is fad.
On to # 2 -
Funny pictures on blog = many happy commenters.
I am proud to announce that I received a record 12 - yes you heard me - TWELVE comments on my happy home vs. heroine home post! I believe the only other time that happened was a post I wrote a ways back that came in second place for Zero Boss's Blogging For Books.
Now, that might not seem like very much for some people (Merit, Vicki, and the rest of you) but it was down right overwhelming for moi and almost crashed the puter. Okay not really, but darn close.
The important thing is I learned that you all like picture stories, and I like making 'em, so I'll have to come up with some more. NOT PROMISING them all the time mind you...They take some effort. You know how I feel about exerting myself.
But get you will, picture stories I must.
That was Yoda talk for, 'I will make you more picture stories'.
And finally # 3:
As you know, I recently blogged about my new kitten and my fear of being killed by my parents for getting another animal. Today I noticed a new comment on that post. And today I have discovered that my dad does infact, read my blog. And thusly -
I have been grounded.
He did not come right out and say it was 'dad', but he signed it D, which is the universal sign for Dad. I thought at first it may have been my brother because his name also starts with a D. But then I thought," why would my brother ground me" and "hey, he's not allowed to ground me", and realized it was from a higher source - It was the Big Guy and I have been busted.
Ooop - maybe I should be more careful with the F bomb too now...
Mmm, er. Nahhhh. Sometimes, its just SO necessary.
And now, yet another realization - Posting a secret on the Internet is just asking for exposure. So I can conclude that I wanted to get caught. It was simply a unique way of breaking the news to them. Now lets see if either one of us actually discusses it out loud... Earl and I are meeting the rents for dinner tomorrow. I'm not going to bring it up - I wonder if he, excuse me, "D" will...
Let the gamessss begin.
posted by Sp00kalot at 7:03 PM
10 Comments:
Your rant about low-carb bagels cracked me up. Even though I've been low-carb dieting for a while now, no matter how much I crave bread, I don't bother with getting a low-carb imitation -- there are other, more substantial things to spend that precious carb allotment on.) And they got four of 'em! You're right - they're stupid!
My dad reads my blog, too. At least, yours de-lurked...
He delurked alright, and just look where it got me. I'm 34 years old and own my own house - and now I'm GROUNDED. I'm not sure what that means, but thats what I am.
I'm glad you commented about the low-carb bagel being that you are a carb-watcher. You make alot of sense and backed up my point about yuppies doing whatever is fad, thus making them stupid.
Heh. Your comments on Iki's blog cracked me up--"Funny, I don't remember cleaning the kitty boxes today..."
Very funny post.
I think that is a lot more healthy having people ie. your family know about your blog than never. saying. a. word. about. it. Although my mother certainly would delurk and ground me if she ever read mine and saw a swear word. She likes to pretend she doesn't know them but I know. I know.
Oh boy....can't wait to hear about the dinner :) I think I dropped the F-bomb on my Dad last time we talked come to think about it.
Fat free bologna. *roflmao* Reminds me of last week - I took a package of hot dogs out of the freezer and ended up leaving them in the fridge for a week. When I finally got around to putting them on the grill, I was thinking maybe they'd be bad now; after all, they'd been in the fridge for a week and I'm all suspicious of anything that's been in my fridge for more than 24 hours anyway.
But then I had an epiphany: In order to "go bad", they'd have to be made of "real meat". ;)
Also, you're blogrolled. You may now get up off my ass. Thank you for your patience.
*lol*
Stupid works for me.
If I'm going to have a bagel I want a bagel - with real cream cheese and real lox.
Otherwise, I'll just make a slice of toast.
Jen finally got Ten Trivial Things up on granny for me. Now Andie D. (who stole it from me figured out what we both were doing wrong).
It's popping up everywhere.
Great granny!I'm off to check you out!
And Iki I am stepping gently, one foot at a time, off your ass right, about... now.
How can you be grounded if you're married?
I got called a yuppie last year. About knocked the bitch out.
I think if youre a parent, you reserve the right to ground your child at anytime during his/her life. If you get grounded while you're married, it pretty much means dont even think about asking for anymore favors. I think. Its been awhile since I've been grounded.
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