The Actually's of a Perfect World -

Isn't it just so typical.

You budget in a simple oil change for your car...

And end up having to calculate in two new tires and an air filter.


Just once, I would like to hear,

- "Actually, your car is perfect and doesn't need anything done to it at all."


And while I'm at it, would it be so difficult to hear at least one of these actually's every month??

- "Actually, it isn't as bad as you thought. In fact, it's alot better than you ever could imagine."

- "You'd think it was fattening by how good it tastes... but actually, its got no fat or calories at all and you can have as much as you want."

- "I know you thought it was going to be really expensive, but actually, it's so cheap I'm not even going to bother charging you."

- "Actually, you over paid so now we owe you money."

- "You actually look younger than you did 10 years ago."

- "Did you actually think we were going to charge you for that?"

- "Actually, you were right and I was wrong."

- "We mis-read it, so you actually have all the time you need."

- "Actually, you just won the whole pot."

- "Turns out, too much exercise is bad for you so you are actually over-doing it.

- "Actually, we were hoping you wouldn't mind letting us pay for it."

- "It's actually healthier for you to drink beer than water."

- "It's a proven fact that blondes not only have more fun, but they are actually smarter than brunettes."

- "Sitting on the couch is actually better for you than walking on a treadmill."

- "Actually, you can retire when you turn 36."

- "There was a mistake with your mortgage. You actually own your house now."

- "Brad Pitt called. He actually wants you over Angelina."

- "Eatting less than one dessert a night can actually damage your stomach ."

- "By not having a degree in something, you've actually added 20 years to your life"

- "Donald Trump would actually perfer you to take the job."

- "The Government actually owes you money."


Hey, I can dream.