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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Do you know what its like to realize you forgot to pee before your hour long decent home, so you pull into a gas station to use the icky restroom and discover you have an audience of men waiting to watch you exit your vehicle… so you strap your shades on and gather your coolness as you attempt to get out of your car… only to have your pant leg catch on the lever under the seat, sending your upper half plummeting downward… so with one hand on the the ground, you yank your leg thinking that should release you from the mess you got yourself into, only it does not work, so you yank again, and again, and yet again, all while everyone is starring at you being stuck to your car, and you think that if you yank any harder you will surely rip your pants which would make everything worse so you eventually succumb to the humility of it all and sit back down in the seat to release yourself by hand... only to realize you still have to pee... so you carefully exit the vehicle again and head into the circle of snickering males so you can ask for the key to the icky restroom?

I do.

I’m a klepto and I don’t even know it.

The first thing I saw this morning when I entered the lunchroom at work was someone's plastic bag sitting on the lunch table. As I sat my purse down next to it, I could see the bag consisted of a can of soup and a buttered roll. I placed my lunch in the refrigerator, grabbed a cup of coffee, picked my purse back up, and went to my office….

Where I noticed in my other hand was a plastic bag containing a can of soup and a buttered roll…