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Monday, March 22, 2004

Okay, so there I was, sitting in my car. Oddly enough, it was my old 1990 Cavalier. Why it keeps reappearing in my dreams is beyond me.

*Little Blue, as we liked to call him (yes, it was a "him" car) has not made as many appearances in my dreams as Angus, my little 1974 VW Beetle. And for some reason or another, our new silver Cavalier "Talley" (short for Metallica) just hasn't shown up yet.

So me and my car where in a very large abandoned parking lot in the middle of the night.

* I must tell you all now, this was by far, one of the most realistic dreams I've ever had. When I have a dream like this one, I can feel, taste, smell, hear, you name it. I can describe in detail, I can draw you a picture of what a room looked like. I see everything. These dreams are a permanent part of my memory, and although this was not the strangest or scariest, it was one of the more bizarre ones.

In the passenger seat was none other than Katie, a dear old friend from Sunday school.

*Katie and I have not talked in, oh I don't know, like 20 some years. But I recently saw a picture of her and her family up at my folks house. So perhaps it was stuck in my mind. Dreams are funny that way. To continue...

Katie insisted on hearing my new car stereo

* In reality, this thing has to be the biggest monster kicker in the world. This detail was not over exaggerated in my dream. For real, somehow Earl has squeezed this thing into the trunk (God forbid we get a flat) but he was kind enough to leave a tiny little space in front of it for groceries. The back seat folds down so one can experience ALL the bass possible. So the mirrors shake a uncontrollably when played, so the CD's bounce out of the visor pockets, so we got a $100 ticket for breaking Bethlehem's loud noise ordnance - whose stereo doesn't do that?

Back to the dream. I was more than happy to turn the volume up for Katie. Afterall, you can't have a kicker that size and not be obligated to impress people with it's power, not even in a dream. So up goes the volume.

* May I just remind all of you - This was by far, one of the most realistic dreams I have ever had. The details, the smells, the FEAR...

We were pulling out of the parking lot, when I saw them. THEM. Two (2) cop cars, sitting side by side, like they were talking to each other, eating donuts, waiting for something to wake them up. OF COURSE, right before I drive by I look down at my seat and jerk the wheel ever so slightly - but enough to catch their attention.

Everyone knows, even in a dream, one jerk + abandoned parking lot + middle of the night = Rolling Gloom. I knew right then, I was getting yanked.

Sure enough, on go the lights and that nasty siren. I pull over only to be asked to step out of the car.

Suddenly, I realize I may have had something to drink that night...

However, I definitely was sure it had been hours ago and I was fine. And let me just say, that's a really crappy thing to do to me in my own dream. I would never do such a thing, yet here I am...

None-the-less, I was asked to stand with my feet together and put my arms out straight to my left and right.

*Each second I was going through this I was genuinely freaked out of my mind. I can only imagine what my eye lids must have looked like in my sleep. This was an official nightmare.

I was not asked to touch my nose. I was only asked to extend my arms to the left and right. My knees started to shake. My hips started to shake. My arms started to SHAKE. The cop looked at me and said, "How drunk are you?!" I replied I was not drunk, I was scared.

Then, they did the "breathalizer test"...

Instead of breathing into something, they strapped this horrible device on my head. It looked like a metal headband with all sorts of wires sticking out of it. But the scariest thing were the two needles that were pointing directly at my temples.

I did not think this was a procedure I was familiar with.

The needles were then pressed into my skin until it punctured through and hit my skull. This was supposed to tell them if I was drunk.

That son-of-a-bitch hurt! I know I squeezed my eyes shut tight on that one. Boy, just writing this down now I can remember how unpleasant those needles felt as they pierced into my flesh and pressed against my brain.

Man, was I scared.

I thought for sure I'd barf all over the ground, but I was afraid if I did they would really be convinced I had been drinking.

Finally, they finally pulled this thing off my head. As the needles were being withdrawn, I could feel my skin pulling away from my temples and then snap back to my face.

I thought, Wow. That's gonna leave a mark.

And a mark it did leave. Two big sore holes in the side of my face.

Suddenly we went from the parking lot to the inside of the police building. How we jump from place to place in dreams is aways remarkable. It's like the dream wants to cut to the chase.

It was a simple room with white walls, white tile floor, a water cooler, one plant, and a bunch of cold fold-up chairs lined up facing a cop at a desk. I was sitting to the far left next to a window covered with blinds. It was pretty cold in there and my new holes in my head were pretty darn sore. I was pretty tired too.

And what did they do with Katie??

Behind me were a bunch of people with sorry looks on their faces. I couldn't see if they had holes in their temples. No one was talking and everybody was sad. I realized then that there was a guy sitting next to me, so I took the chance that maybe he knew what was going on.

He said that I had been arrested and charged with a DWI. Right now, the officers were doing the paper work to take my license for a year. Oh, a year, I thought. Not so bad. Then it dawned on me - A YEAR! That's forever!!

For obvious reasons, I started to really panic. I couldn't yell out loud, they might stick me again with another horrible thing that I've never seen before. I could only start screaming in my mind "Wait, I'm not drunk! There's some kind of mistake! I have to be able to drive my car!"

And all the things that I do in my everyday, real life that I would not be able to do without a license came crashing into my dream. No more gym, no more kickboxing, no more yoga class, no more Sunday afternoon grocery shopping, no more anything! (Funny to see my priorities in life.) Some how I was able to realize that Earl could still drive us to work, so that didn't really phase me.

OH! And then the MONEY hit me! I have no idea how much this will cost me but I knew I couldn't afford it!

I was sweating my butt off in that cold chair. What would Earl do? What would my parents think? What is going to happen to me and my record?

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by a man in a blue uniform looking straight at me, saying "NEXT"...

Just then I woke up. I couldn't believe that I had just ruined my life from one stupid mistake, Why oh why did I let this happen?! What did I do?! What am I going to do? I couldn't believe that I screwed up so bad, why couldn't this be a dream, one big fat nightmare, please, just let this... Wait a sec... Oh, my bad. OH THANK GOD. Oh my goodness. Oh it was a dream. Wow.

What the hell did I eat before I went to bed?

(maybe if I had a banana before I fell asleep... )

Wanna hear the strangest part??? Godsmack was playing in the car when I got pulled over in that big parking lot in the middle of the night.

Next weekend, we are supposed to go see Godsmack in concert - and I wanna know, right now, whose driving.
Oh okay! Blog if I must to get a watch from you. But alas, all I wanted was a nice comment on my poem. But if the watch is the second prize, then blog away I will.

Blog blog? Blog, blog blog! Blog blog, blog. Blog (blog) blog "blog" blog.... aaaa... hmmm...

Oh! I know! Well we had a problem with our computer for the last few days. Perhaps that is why I haven't blogged in awhile. I could not get online to save my life. So yesterday, a wizard came to our house. He waved his arms around, chanted some words (sounded suspiciously like curse words) and fixed it. He even networked our two computers together! FINALLY! Had to wipe the whole drive and start over, he did. Seems they are working better than ever, too. Hear hear!

The wiz came to our house with his girlfriend as he figured it would not take but 20 minutes to look at our system. 7 hours later, he was just about done. His gal, however, must have been bored, although I tried to keep her entertained. She drank a few too many cocktails and began to entertain the rest of us with her dancing (if that's what you can call it). Amazing how your clothes seem to loose their buttons when your drunk. Someone in the button business should look into that. We were certainly glad that by 10 pm the wiz was ready to leave, 'cause I'm pretty sure she was ready to do something she shouldn't. She made a comment that she thought "those people", meaning Earl and me, "should leave". He scooped her up off the floor/couch and she flopped in his arms like a rag doll. Well it was certainly nice meeting her. She's a special gal. I think from hence forth, I will refer to them as The Wizard And His Doll.

I have to run to kickboxing now. I will stop back afterwards to tell you about my dream last night. In it, I got a DWI and had needles in my brain.