Have you ever have one of those mornings where you think you may never get to where you’re going??

That was me this morning. I could not seem to get myself to work. It started with trying to get out the door to get to work.

For one, I couldn’t figure out what I was going to wear. Fashion wasn’t important to me today, but comfort was and I couldn’t decide what pair of pants was going to be more comfortable in this 95-degree heat.

After I picked a pair and matched a tank top to it, it was a matter of getting the hubby up. He didn’t want to wake up but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. I went downstairs to feed the beasts. Then I reminded myself to grab Nemo, you know, that thing I wanted to take a picture of for my blog...

But soon enough, I started to think that T might be coming back for some finishing touches on the drywall, so I arranged the dogs in the kitchen again and settled the kitties up in the bedroom. While I was up there, I woke the hubby again. He rolled out of bed and locked himself in the bathroom.

I went back downstairs and forgot what I was about to do. I knew I was supposed to do something, but what, I don’t know. So I went out to feed the birds, something that wasn’t at all what I was thinking about doing.

Seems that’s been happening a lot lately. I have a list in my head and as I go through the room, I see something that reminds me I have to do something more, which gets added to the list and then I forget what I was about to do in the first place.

Then I hear hubby at the top of the stairs. “I’m sick. I’m not going.” I poked my head up at him and he looked terrible. Uh huh, looks like I’m doing this commute by myself today. He wandered down the stairs and plopped on the couch. “Sorry babe, I feel like crap”. Alll righty then. Out the door I went. Solo.

I started to pull the car out of the driveway when I realized I forgot to leave T his check. So I put my foot on the break and wrote the check out while I’m half way out of the driveway and the tail of the car is sticking out in the road. Then I put the car in park and walk the check up to the house. I banged on the door, which got the dogs barking but didn’t seem to get Earl up off the couch to open it. I bang on it some more knowing that if anymore time passes I could have walked back to the car and gotten the house keys off the key chain and let myself in. But no, I stay and insist on pounding on the door. By now its obvious he must not be downstairs anymore, so I go back to the car, grab the house keys, and let myself in. As I place the check on the table I still think I’m forgetting something but I have no time to figure out what.

Soon I’m back in the car and made it out the entire rest of the driveway. I pulled down the street and around the corner, when I realize what I forgot.

“FREAK’IN NEMO.

Dagnabit.

Well, now it will be one more day before I can post that on the blog. I mean, the post will work without the picture but it won’t be the same. Hey, nobody would miss the picture if it wasn’t there but me. I know. But I want it there, so y’all have to wait another day for it. I also can bring the diggy home with me tonight to take the picture but I’ve been going back and forth with trying to remember to bring Nemo with me to work and forgetting to do so, and then trying to remember the diggy from work and forgetting to do so - for 3 days now. I wonder if it will ever get posted at this point.

And besides, I was late enough to work as it was. Can I justify being even more late because I forgot the thing I was going to take a picture of for my blog? I don’t think I can do that today. So down the street I continued and wound up behind a garbage truck that was racing a dump truck up a hill. Yeah, we were rocking at an amazing 4 mph up that hill… The whole time I’m wondering who’s going to make it the top first and if I’m behind the potential winner or not. The race ended at the light as the dump truck turned off into Valley Forge, leaving me behind the stinky garbage truck for the next three miles, cruising at a smooth 20 mph.

I finally reached the freaking highway and turned onto it. The radio announced a major back up about 4 exits down. Perfect I think. I just loveee sitting in traffic… But at least it’s a better excuse as to why I’m so late to my job then anything else I had done that morning.

The ride was long and boring. Constant stop and go, stop and go. It was enough to put me to sleep so I reached in the lunch bag and found hubby’s Fig Newtons. Hey, you don’t come to work, I eat your Newtons. But soon enough, the tasty little fig cookies were history and I started chewing gum. Then I started spitting it out, then chewing another piece, and spitting it out, piece after piece, after piece…

Oooh looky. My car and I finally reached our exit. I put the pedal to the metal, floored it down the ramp and we got ourselves off that dog forsaken highway. We pulled into work and parked, I cracked the windows a bit and dragged a towel across the steering wheel to keep it cool… and stopped frozen in my tracks.

I had just been hit by the worst possible thing….

A FREAKING TOOTHACHE.

How does that just “happen” like that? Just like that! No warning and no way out. Just pure pain. I grabbed my jaw as my eyes started tearing. Oh no, please don’t do this to me. PLEASSEEE! I’ve been bad, I know. I’m a little behind in getting my cleanings but that’s only because my favorite dentist dropped my discount plan and I’m afraid to find another doctor.

I have the WORST problem with dentist. Ever been to a butcher? I have.

I went to one guy I call “Dr. Butcher”, who did such a HORRIBLE job on my teeth that I actually had to go to another dentist to have his work redone, as well as an Endodontist to have a root canal retreated because Dr. Butcher f’d up so bad. Some of you may know this already, but it’s almost impossible to sue a dentist unless there is permanent damage, which I did not have. A woman I worked with however, did have permanent damage from him. She lost her tooth because of his botched root canal. So suing is hard to do, but you can report them to the dental board. Which I did. And he had to give me my $1560.00 back – most of which I handed over to the endodontist…

Shortly after, Dr. Butcher decided to retire.

So you can see why I have such a problem with dentists and trusting a new one is like, well... it’s like pulling teeth.

Anyway, there I sat with this pain. I looked forward to working with it for the next 6 hours. And as a bad tooth can so easily do, it turned into a bad jaw, a bad ear, a bad throat, and my right eye was on a slant from all the pain. So I did what anyone would do and swallowed 4 Advils. Hey, I don’t fuck around with tooth pain. Give me drugs and lots of them. Then I called my old dentist to see if he would call in some antibiotics to the pharmacy across the street – and he said No. It had been too long since I had seen him. Guy, it’s not like I’m asking for Codeine. It’s Amoxicillin for crying out loud. I explained how I was ‘in between’ dentist right now but it didn’t seem to matter. Although I have a whole bottle at home, I wanted to start medicating myself now. I never take antibiotics for anything – except tooth problems. I don’t believe in running to the doctor for every sniffle – but I do believe in seeking a dentist when my tooth wants to explode. They always put me on antibiotics before they even attempt to start working on the problem, and I am cursed with sucky teeth, so I have learned to start myself on them.

It is now almost 11:30. The Advil has kicked in. My eye straightened out. My throat opened up, my ear has cleared, and my jaw is now functional again. I am eating a banana not just because it’s soft, but because maybe it has magical tooth healing powers.

Note: Neither the banana nor the banana peel will clear up rashes on your arm. I know this through self-experimentation...

Hopefully my day will go better from here on out. I have to run to TJMaxx at lunchtime to return a pair of dress pants Earl didn’t like. With the way my day has been going, I fear what awaits me in the parking lot, or the store, or on the road... Hey, as long as my tooth stays calm, I can handle anything...

Hey whoaaa. Holy crap. I better not say that too loud. Nothi'n like tempting fate, or those gods of crappy ass days.