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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

So Saturday I didn’t feel like myself. Okay yes, it was gloomy outside and we stayed up way too late the night before, but seriously, what I’m about to tell you may sicken your stomach…

I spent the entire day - the entireeee day - sitting in my chair playing Internet backgammon.

That's right.

First of all, I didn’t get out of bed until 1:30pm.

Second of all, I never got out of my pj’s. I just my sat my ass down in front of the computer and started playing. And when the game was over, I just started it again. I never turned on the TV, I never even turned on the lights. I just sat there with my little dragon lamp showing me where my keyboard was. I knew where my mouse was because my hand was stuck to it.

Once in awhile, while I was waiting for a worthy opponent, I would get up, walk 8-feet into the kitchen, put a load of wash in the machine or grab something to eat. So not only were my arteries rotting away from my lazy stagnant blood, and not only was my butt slowly growing roots into the chair, and not only were my legs stiff from not moving for so long, but my whole diet for Saturday consisted of water, cereal, a piece of pizza, some pistachios, and yes, some beer. Granted I did not drink the beer with the cereal because that's just gross. The cereal, I'll have you know, was Heart Smart and it was eaten in the afternoon time, so it was the first thing in my stomach before anything else because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. See, I did do some good for myself. The beer was much much later, wayyyy after the cereal. More like around the pizza and pistachio time.

Then, around 8pm, I got up to use the bathroom, and found myself back to sleep in bed, complete with slippers still on.

Sunday however, I manage to get dressed. I picked up dog poop, did more laundry, did the dishes, cleaned the family room, walked on the treadmill, and took out the trash. Then, I sat in my chair and played backgammon.

Which brings me to the question of - Why is it that I will finish the game no matter how bad I’m losing, but when I’m winning, my opponent always decides to quit the game before I can win? There should be some kind of electric shock I can administer through the keyboard so they are forced to stay until I have officially won. It’s just not the same if you can’t tell them to kiss your ass as you pull your last chip off the board. Mind you, they cant actually hear you, but it feels good to me just the same.

I ask so little from people.

Yesterday, Earl and I ate something bad at dinner time. I can’t tell you what exactly, but we suspect it was the coleslaw.

So Monday, I was paying for it big time. I must have gone to the bathroom 10 times at work. Brought back fond memories of the old colitis flare-ups. I was so spent by the end of the day, all I wanted to do was go back to bed. But I took my nap on the ride home, woke feeling better, and actually went to kickboxing class. That was a feat in itself because Monday’s class is an hour and a half long...

Why we push ourselves to work when we are sick, but then blow it all off when something more fun comes up, I'll never know.

I felt pretty good through the whole class, until the very end when we had to do a certain type of crunch… and let me just tell you, I was clenching. Something funny was starting to happen down there and I can’t even describe the sound it was making. Fortunately, it wasn’t a very loud sound so I was the only one who knew about it. As luck would have it, we changed exercises before anything crazy happened. And there’s no better feeling then when you know you're in the clear. Driving home my legs were kinda shaky, but I was going to be fine.

I went home, drank about a gallon of water, had a little dinner with a glass of red wine, and went to bed.

And there you have it. Four days summed up in one little post. And well, here I am today telling you about it so I guess it’s really five days. And today, my ass is killing me. But it’s a good kind of pain, like the one when you did a million squats and lunges the night before. Not the bad pain, like what you thought I was talking about. Yeah, you know the one.

I’m feeling like some backgammon coming on too…


Blogger Z said...

To be honest? That sounds like a perfect Saturday. I can never do anything like that without feeling huge guilt. But Dog, I'd love to do it on Saturday. Hope you're feeling better!

10:44 AM  

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