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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

So tell me –

Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….

This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...

Me: We’re going to get a roll.

Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.

Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.

Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.

Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.

Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.

Me: I’m not coming.

Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.

In the kitchen at work –

Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.

My Arm: Watch me as I make it.

Me: I’m not eating it.

My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.

Me: I hate you.

Later on at lunch time –

Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.

Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.

Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.

Me: Nope.

Me: Its just one little piece.

Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.

Me: You suck.

Me: Yes but you love me.

Driving to the bank -

Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.

Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.

Me: I’ll eat that too.

Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.

Me: This was your idea, not mine.

Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.

Me: You might, but I’m not.

Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?

Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.

Me: No bagels. You hear me?

Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…
I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for so long. These last few days have been exhausting for me. Seems I’ve been going non-stop since the weekend and I have had absolutely no energy to do anything. I did manage to play with my new camera though!

We had our second annual “Just For The Hell Of It” party on Saturday. This party came about one night while Earl, our friend Steve, and I were sitting around drinking, thinking about when the last time we had a party just for the hell of it, and thus was born the official JFTHOI shin ding. Both years we've had it on the first Saturday in August at the second pavilion in Monocacy Park, and so far we have really lucked out with the weather (knock on wood). Although the band did not show – how rude – we were graced with the MacKay Pipe Band who were having their picnic in the pavilion next to ours. They marched over with the drums and bag pipes and played a few Scottish diddleys for us. Being Scottish myself, that was just too awesome! The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been some kilts…

Anyway, the party was a success and I didn’t get to bed until after 3am. Sunday I woke around 10 and felt okay but really tired. I took the dogs for a walk in the woods, came back home and fell asleep again. I woke up around 2:30pm and still had no more energy in me to do anything that needed to be done around the house.

What needed to be done? Well, my family room is still inside the living room because we haven’t had a chance to sand and paint the walls yet and I am so sick of walking around everything but what can we do. My fridge was totally funky from something dead that took us days to find, but meanwhile, the smell had migrated to the freezer and I feared anything that wasn’t completely sealed would need to be dumped. I was weeks behind in laundry, and still had a load of dishes in the sink. My house was and is completely trashed, yet people keep coming to visit, upon which I have stopped caring what they think and just tell them to step over stuff and not to sit on anything important.

Monday I went to work but could hardly keep my eyes open. When we got home, the funk in the fridge was unbearable. It had to be dealt with that night. My kickboxing class was from 6:30 to 8, and as I got changed for it I kept thinking about how tired I was, how much work I had to do in the kitchen, how I had to get to the store for fish food because the goldfish hadn’t eaten in three days, and how if I went to class and the store it would have me home around 9, then I would have to eat and shower and then when would I do any laundry or clean the fridge??

I came down the stairs and Earl remarked how horrible I looked. I told him all the stuff that needed to be done and how exhausted I felt, and he said that no one was going to yell at me if I didn’t go to class and that the only one telling me to go was myself. So adorned in sports bra and workout pants, I changed my destination from the karate studio to the market on the corner for fish food. Normally I would go to the pet store for quality pond pellets, but that was 10 minutes away and I figured the fish would be happy with silly old flake food at this point. Of course when I got there, there was absolutely no goldfish food, which really pissed me off because that meant I had to drive up the road to Super Fresh when all I wanted was for this to be a quick and easy errand. But of course, nothing is ever quick or easy when you feel like crap. So off I went further down the road.

Once I got there, I decided to also pick up some TV dinners because neither one of us was about to eat anything out of the fridge. While I was deciding what Hungry Man wouldn’t make me feel fatter than I already did after not working out, I called my mom so she could make me feel less guilty for not going to class. Talking to mom while shopping is a bad combination if you want to get home quickly. About 20 minutes later, I finally made it to the cashier, which really made me stressed because I was thinking the whole time if I had gone to class I probably would have been home by now.

I walked in the door and was pleasantly surprised to find Earl had already emptied the freezer. This made me quite happy because the thought of throwing away all that food (money) was completely sickening. It needed to be done as the sandwich I took with me to work that day tasted like freezer, and ingesting all that bacteria couldn’t be healthy no matter how much it cost. I knew everything we had in there was now all in the trash, but as long as I didn’t have watch it get there I would be okay. To be fair, I did the fridge since he did the freezer. That is where I found the culprit… one very old and moldy liquidly lime, hiding in the way, way, way back underneath a 12-pack of soda. And when citrus goes bad, it’s all over.

Afterwards, I got two loads of laundry done, one load of dishes, and eventually got to sit and play with my digital images from our party. We finally ate our Hungry Man’s around 10pm, and I was in bed by midnight. That was certainly not my intention but that’s how the night went.

It seems like every time I look at the clock lately, its either 9pm and I haven’t eaten or showered, or midnight and I’m not in bed yet. So a midnight bedtime is obviously NOT early enough…

Because Tuesday I could barely get out of bed. I dragged my ass into work, made it through 8 hours and another hour of driving home, and got dressed for pilates. But that’s when I remembered I had to get the computer store and pick up more memory and a hi speed USB connector for my puter so I could work with the images from my new camera. I knew I couldn’t do both my class and go to the computer store, and I really needed my puter to work again as it pretty much decided it didn’t have enough memory to do anything anymore.

So off I went to Best Buy. I felt horrible. I tried to talk to one of the geeky employees so I could get what I came for get the hell out, but my eyes were half shut and I couldn’t focus on any of the words on any of the products he was showing me. There was a nice empty little shelf under the laptops and tried to curl up inside it but they wouldn’t let me. Instead, I came home with $164 worth of stuff I couldn’t afford.

Putting the memory in was a no brainer, but of course, the USB controller gave me all sorts of problems. Sure, the computer found the new hardware, but the drivers would not install because of a Service Pack problem. I tried to reinstall the SP, but all it wanted to do was argue with me. I gave up. It was now 9:00 - what a surprise - and I needed to shower and my stomach was still unfed - wow. Even bigger surprise. But before heading upstairs to get my stink off, I tried to download the picts to my little Dimension, which as luck would have it, actually worked and allowed me stay up even later to play with them... Great. Good for me…

So anyway, here I am today tired again. I don’t feel sick, but I feel very scatterbrained. People are asking me questions and I’m not even catching all the words they’re using. I am determined however to get to my class tonight. I know I cant get there tomorrow because of a dentist appointment I have in the evening, and Saturday I am in debate as to whether I should work out, get my hair done which I cant afford, or sleep. I’ll let you know what I decide.

Oh and by the way… ABI, THIS CAMERA ROCKS!