So tell me –
Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….
This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...
Me: We’re going to get a roll.
Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.
Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.
Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.
Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.
Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.
Me: I’m not coming.
Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.
In the kitchen at work –
Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.
My Arm: Watch me as I make it.
Me: I’m not eating it.
My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.
Me: I hate you.
Later on at lunch time –
Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.
Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.
Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.
Me: Nope.
Me: Its just one little piece.
Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.
Me: You suck.
Me: Yes but you love me.
Driving to the bank -
Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.
Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.
Me: I’ll eat that too.
Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.
Me: This was your idea, not mine.
Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.
Me: You might, but I’m not.
Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?
Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.
Me: No bagels. You hear me?
Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…
Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….
This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...
Me: We’re going to get a roll.
Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.
Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.
Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.
Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.
Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.
Me: I’m not coming.
Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.
In the kitchen at work –
Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.
My Arm: Watch me as I make it.
Me: I’m not eating it.
My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.
Me: I hate you.
Later on at lunch time –
Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.
Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.
Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.
Me: Nope.
Me: Its just one little piece.
Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.
Me: You suck.
Me: Yes but you love me.
Driving to the bank -
Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.
Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.
Me: I’ll eat that too.
Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.
Me: This was your idea, not mine.
Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.
Me: You might, but I’m not.
Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?
Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.
Me: No bagels. You hear me?
Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…