I saw one of those crazy ass cars on the road again yesterday. It did a very silly thing and back traffic up for miles.
Because of yesterday, I’ve come to realize that while some cars are incapable of driving correctly, and some just need more practice using their technological upgrades, there are some out there that have issues and are just plain spiteful. Those are the ones you have to really watch out for.
I’ll give the car I saw yesterday the benefit of doubt and think perhaps it detected a shortcut and was demonstrating some sort of new off road technique (which obviously needed some improvement), but it looked more to me more like it was just really pissed off and drove right off the highway and down a big ditch into the woods.
As I crawled through traffic, I could see the car sitting there, pretending not to mind the hundreds of rubberneckers passing by. It was also pretty obvious that it was avoiding eye contact with the NJ State Trooper, who was scratching his forehead under the brim of his oversized hat. The car was pretty darn stuck and surrounded by trees and mud. Must have been pretty humiliating for it.
And oh, the poor driver.
The driver stood in the grass in front of the car. He had one hand in the pocket of his Dockers and the other was holding a cell phone to his ear; undoubtedly releasing some built up tension to the dealer about his misbehaving car. I could tell the poor man was frazzled; his leather loafers were all dirty, his wispy gray hair was disheveled, and he had missed a button on his sweater.
My fellow rubberneckers and I crawled on until we couldn’t turn our necks any farther back to look, and traffic finally broke loose. I patted my car on the dashboard and gave it a reassuring steering wheel squeeze. Then I glanced with suspicious eye at the cars around us, wondering what the chances were that one was about to act up like that one in the woods did, or if there was one dying to try out some new technological upgrade the rest of us weren’t aware even existed.
It seems everyday I'm seeing more and more of these cars out there. Some can be treated, others are hopeless. So be careful, my friends. Keep your eyes peeled, be safe out there, and take caution. If you fear you may already be driving a car with issues, find a lake. You know what to do.
Because of yesterday, I’ve come to realize that while some cars are incapable of driving correctly, and some just need more practice using their technological upgrades, there are some out there that have issues and are just plain spiteful. Those are the ones you have to really watch out for.
I’ll give the car I saw yesterday the benefit of doubt and think perhaps it detected a shortcut and was demonstrating some sort of new off road technique (which obviously needed some improvement), but it looked more to me more like it was just really pissed off and drove right off the highway and down a big ditch into the woods.
As I crawled through traffic, I could see the car sitting there, pretending not to mind the hundreds of rubberneckers passing by. It was also pretty obvious that it was avoiding eye contact with the NJ State Trooper, who was scratching his forehead under the brim of his oversized hat. The car was pretty darn stuck and surrounded by trees and mud. Must have been pretty humiliating for it.
And oh, the poor driver.
The driver stood in the grass in front of the car. He had one hand in the pocket of his Dockers and the other was holding a cell phone to his ear; undoubtedly releasing some built up tension to the dealer about his misbehaving car. I could tell the poor man was frazzled; his leather loafers were all dirty, his wispy gray hair was disheveled, and he had missed a button on his sweater.
My fellow rubberneckers and I crawled on until we couldn’t turn our necks any farther back to look, and traffic finally broke loose. I patted my car on the dashboard and gave it a reassuring steering wheel squeeze. Then I glanced with suspicious eye at the cars around us, wondering what the chances were that one was about to act up like that one in the woods did, or if there was one dying to try out some new technological upgrade the rest of us weren’t aware even existed.
It seems everyday I'm seeing more and more of these cars out there. Some can be treated, others are hopeless. So be careful, my friends. Keep your eyes peeled, be safe out there, and take caution. If you fear you may already be driving a car with issues, find a lake. You know what to do.
posted by Sp00kalot at 3:25 PM
2 Comments:
It's obvious you're feeling better. I'm glad. After a couple days trying to drive a rented Cavalier with bipolar around the D.C. area I know precisely what you mean...P.S. There will be many pissed off cars over the next week because, contrary to the predictions of the National Park Service, the Cherry Trees are running 10 days late. Which means all those that planned their vacation around "the Peak" are going to need SSRIs to stay on the road.
Cheers!
Thank you Vicki, and yes, I am FINALLY feeling much better. Especially today. It only took 6 days.
I in fact have a Cavalier and am now watching for signs that's its caught bipolar. I thought I saw it smoking the pot once, but it was someone else's car. Thanks for the warning. You're a good friend.
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