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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

So tell me –

Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….

This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...

Me: We’re going to get a roll.

Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.

Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.

Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.

Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.

Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.

Me: I’m not coming.

Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.

In the kitchen at work –

Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.

My Arm: Watch me as I make it.

Me: I’m not eating it.

My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.

Me: I hate you.

Later on at lunch time –

Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.

Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.

Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.

Me: Nope.

Me: Its just one little piece.

Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.

Me: You suck.

Me: Yes but you love me.

Driving to the bank -

Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.

Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.

Me: I’ll eat that too.

Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.

Me: This was your idea, not mine.

Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.

Me: You might, but I’m not.

Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?

Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.

Me: No bagels. You hear me?

Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…

8 Comments:

Blogger Holy Schmidt said...

LOOK at me posting on your site.

I understand the multiple personality decision making skills.

I totally have to convince myself to buy clothes and I swear, when buying something over $40, I have to have discussions with myself for AT LEAST an hour.

I'm a dork!

9:46 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You are absolutely SO cute and funny I cannot stand it. :)

9:48 AM  
Blogger Sp00kalot said...

Oh good Schmidt, makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not alone in this. And thanks for stopping in! It was getting lonely over here.

Z- which me are you talking about? One of us isnt so cute sometimes.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No. As a professional, I would worry about split personality issues, Amy.
This post suggests total personality disintegration and depersonaliztion, especially once your arm starts talking. They're working on a new med for this so hang in.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Sp00kalot said...

"Personality disintegration and depersonaliztion" - hmmm sounds... comforting... Good to know there's a name for it though.

1:41 PM  
Blogger amarkonmywall said...

I just came back to re-visit because my laptop went wonka when I tried to post a comment earlier and i didn't think it posted. It was just my name that didn't post. That was your favorite bloggin' tongue-in-cheek therapist- and it was supposed to say "I wouldn't worry about split personality..." Send me your snail mail again over there in New Jersey or wherever. I have the mother of all (small) Lake Superior agates for your stone collection. I'll enclose meds, too.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Catherine Detweiler said...

LOL. I feel the same way, except the evil twin always seems to win out in my case.

8:42 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

Classic, Amy! I love it!

6:35 PM  

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