Oh and by the way, I was watching the Discovery Channel the other day, and they were talking about hurricanes and tsunamis and super hurricanes and super tsunamis and so on...
Do you know what two items Walmart sells the most during panicked times of severe nature disasters?
# 1 - BEER
and, are you ready for this?
# 2 - Poptarts
Esssuz me, ese?
Beer - okay, yes. I mean, hell yes. What else are you going to do while floating for hours on top of a piece of someone's elses house?
But POPTARTS?
By all means, WATER should have been number 1. And so should toilet paper and batteries and those kinds of things. But they didnt even come in as number TWO.
POPTARTS DID.
I'm thinking, maybeeee people buy poptarts instead, cause theyyy... cannnnn... what - Be eaten cold as well as hot. Are wrapped in pretty silver packages which are, most likely, water proof (not that I ever tested that theory) and could be used to reflect the sun and attract the attention of a rescue plan flying by. They probably last a long long time too, not as long as Twinkies, but long. And hey, its not like your going to be floating around for more than a year anyway, right? Or maybe its just because its America's favorite comfort food. I dont know. Is it? It isnt mine, but maybe there was a poll done that I missed and poptarts won. And are they the original poptart or those new Toaster Studel ones with the swirly frosting on them? Perhaps it doesnt matter.
I'm kinda embarrassed by this poptart thing. I can take a pretty good guess that wasn't the answer in any other country.
Hey, whatever makes us happy, right?
Do you know what two items Walmart sells the most during panicked times of severe nature disasters?
# 1 - BEER
and, are you ready for this?
# 2 - Poptarts
Esssuz me, ese?
Beer - okay, yes. I mean, hell yes. What else are you going to do while floating for hours on top of a piece of someone's elses house?
But POPTARTS?
By all means, WATER should have been number 1. And so should toilet paper and batteries and those kinds of things. But they didnt even come in as number TWO.
POPTARTS DID.
I'm thinking, maybeeee people buy poptarts instead, cause theyyy... cannnnn... what - Be eaten cold as well as hot. Are wrapped in pretty silver packages which are, most likely, water proof (not that I ever tested that theory) and could be used to reflect the sun and attract the attention of a rescue plan flying by. They probably last a long long time too, not as long as Twinkies, but long. And hey, its not like your going to be floating around for more than a year anyway, right? Or maybe its just because its America's favorite comfort food. I dont know. Is it? It isnt mine, but maybe there was a poll done that I missed and poptarts won. And are they the original poptart or those new Toaster Studel ones with the swirly frosting on them? Perhaps it doesnt matter.
I'm kinda embarrassed by this poptart thing. I can take a pretty good guess that wasn't the answer in any other country.
Hey, whatever makes us happy, right?
posted by Sp00kalot at 10:37 PM
5 Comments:
I started to say something snarky and deleted it.
That's hilarious.
OOoooh why delete? Say snarky! Say snarky!! I have a feeling you wouldnt be the only one.
I emailed you snarky.
It was to the effect that of course it was beer and poptarts. We're talking about Wal-Mart.
Then I felt like a hypocrite because I do some of my shopping there. I know, shame on me.
OMG I noticed that when I was shopping for one of our last hurricanes--NO POPTARTS. Oh, the travesty.
And the only reason I care about poptarts is that some of them are allergen-free for my son. And I can't deny him the occasional poptart LOL
LMALO about the poptarts. That is great. Wonderful! Of course!
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