I was in the process of commenting over at Jenoramra’s place, when I decided I should just blog what I was writing to her. It has to do with being tired, something I think we can all relate to…

I was sooo tired Wednesday that, as I mentioned in my comment, working out was actual torture. It was the first time in a long time that I thought I might actually stop in the middle of class and say, “sorry girls, I cant do this today” and walked out. But I didn’t. No, I continued on because the other part of my brain told me I should stay. After all, I was there, I might as well finish - I will thank myself later.

I believe my problem consisted of four things:
1) I thought on Tuesday I might actually be coming down with something because I had suddenly developed a cough, a sneeze, and my chest felt heavy and phlemy. Although Wednesday I felt fine again, maybe I was still carrying something around.
2) PMS. Definitely a factor. Cramps suck.
3) Crap food. I tend to eat crap food when I have PMS. While I normally would fill my day with protein (yogurt, cottage cheese, oatmeal, apples with peanut butter, turkey, etc.) I ate a buttered roll, a taco, a cookie, a donut hole, and three cups of coffee (a.k.a. sugar, carbs, fat, and caffeine - Its no wonder I felt like shit by the end of the day.)
4) Darker autumn evenings. Naturally one gets more tired the darker it gets.

So all of these factors contributed to a crappy ass work out. Thursday I simply got back to eating correctly and by Thursday night, my workout (which was Samurai sword class) was much better.

Regarding my sword class, I must say that I am becoming quite proficient in chopping the head off, while I am finding that slicing from temple to shoulder and temple to hip is a little more challenging as you must really get your twist on. By far, this is the most intriguing class I’ve ever taken. To learn such an ancient form of fighting with such a magnificent weapon is beyond words. I wish I could end the class with some yoga asanas, followed by a bit of breathing and meditation, but no one else seems to be to gung ho with that idea. If I wait until I get home, the atmosphere is simply not the same. I’ll figure something out. I would LOVE to get my attic set up with a bag, a treadmill, and some mirrors, then I could do a complete work out myself and end my session however I wish. But alas, at this time I don’t exactly own a bag, a treadmill, or any mirrors and will have to start saving for these things.

And now for something completely different - I have a thought to share that has nothing to do with anything -

Are you completley and 100% happy with your body? Seems to me that most people would like to change at least one thing... Maybe you'd like your hips to be smaller? Maybe your nose should be straighter? Maybe your tummy should be flatter or your height should be taller... I'm certain with a little egging, your list would continue to grow as would mine.

Why? Who is making society feel like what they look like isn't good enough? Who is making us feel badly about our bodies??? Hmmmmm. I wonder.

For years I have always thought it unfair to have size zero girls model clothes. That is an unrealistic size for the average girl and it's no wonder why our teens have eating issues. Every magazine, every commercial, every billboard constantly reminds us what is "socially acceptable" by using impossibly beautiful, perfect people to advertise what hot new styles are out there for us just waiting to be bought. I don't know about you, but sometimes just looking at the ad can get me down. Sometimes its when you try something on, only to think, 'why do I look like crap in this? It looked so cute in the catalog.' And then to suddenly realize, 'Oh wait... I'm not a size zero. I forgot.'

Then I will feel so badly I will once again have to swear off food for the remainder of the year.

Well, sooner or later I will get hungry again, so off to the store I go and to buy as many "low fat", "low calorie", "low carb", "low sugar" foods I can stuff in my basket. All because the fashion industry thinks I'm supposed to look like something I'm not nor will ever be.

To sum up, I have gone out looking for jeans and ended up finding low self esteem....

Yet I still want something NEW to wear because THAT will make me feel better. So what do I do now? I go buy a shirt that wasn't displayed on a skinny manikin, what else.

OR MAYBE your body isn’t the focal point at all. Perhaps its just life in general. You see the ads - The ones with the nice, clean, healthy houses with the pretty little car in the driveway next to the big yard. Maybe you just need a new living room set to make you happy. Perhaps you need some track lighting, a pink cell phone, a cordless screwdriver, or some new curtains. Yes folks, curtains can be a cure all. Or MAYBE the answer is an appliance that slices AND dices... afterall, anything that makes our lives "easier" HAS to be a good thing, right?

Whatever your fancy, it seems “shopping” is the temporary fix to whatever ails you.

Which brings me to my point that the retail and food industries rely on us to feel so disgusted with our sad little bodies and our pathetic little lives that we need to buy appliances, furniture, clothes and diet foods to make us feel better...

Why can't we feel good just the way we are?

Anyway, that’s about all for now. It was just a thought that popped in my head. I’m certain some time later today, I’ll come up with more to say about something else and thus, when that moment comes about, I will surely share it with you all.

Till then,
Namaste.