So as you know, my job last night was to kick the stray cats out of the basement and board up the window so they can’t find their way back in.

Only, it couldn’t do it. Not these strays.

I wasn't sure how many strays had found their way in. I knew the little calico kitty was a new resident as I had seen her coming and going out the window. I was hoping she was the only one…

At first I didn’t see her. I had looked around, called for any felines to show their faces, and then started to board the window up. Of course then I heard a little noise and found her in the cabinet of an old junky TV stand we have been meaning to throw out.

The lighting was in that corner was very poor, but I swore I could see something else in there with her.

Tryyyyy…. Three babies.

Great. Justttt great. Now what?

The good news is Sara, as I have named the calico kitty, is a very nice cat. She is not wild at all and judging by her itty bitty size, appears to be less than a year old.

See what happens to young girls when they live on the streets? They get knocked up, give birth by themselves, and are forced to live in TV stands.

She let me pick her furry babies up, who don’t even have their eyes opened yet, and put a blanket under them. Then I left her some food and water so she could nurse them proper.

I know, I know. Don't feed strays. But I figured, she' s here, she's not going anywhere, she has babies.... so... might as well, right?

I think I’ve have gained her trust - which is good - because tonight after work, provided they are still there, I will bring the whole family down to the no-kill shelter by me. This is the same place I brought Koi, ironically enough another calico, when I found her in the pond. If I just place the blanket with the kittens in the carrier - Sara will go right in. Right???

Keep your fingers crossed.

It’s really the only thing I can do for them. I mean, I don't know anyone who wants a family of cats, I can’t keep them, I won’t keep them, and I don’t want to keep them. I have 4 cats and 2 dogs already whose health is my main priority, so for their sake, Sara and family have to leave the basement. Shutting her out is not even an option anymore, and leaving them be, is unthinkable. My animals would never leave the basement door alone if they heard those kittens crying. Ultimately, I fear they will all suffer the inevitable fate of city strays - road kill or disease. Fortunately for everyone, the shelter is no-kill, so aside from asking my mom if she wanted them first, this is the best I can do.

Incidentally, mom said its tempting, but not this time as Lucas would surely eat the babies.

So why do I feel so bad?

Probably because of the whole “future uncertain” thing. Once I drop them off tonight, that’s it. I can only hope they will find happy homes, and I am giving them the best chance I can.

I still think of little Koi Koi and wonder if she was ever adopted… the only thing I can do is just assume that she was and is living a fine life somewhere nice.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

You'd think this shit would get easier the more you do it. When will my hide toughen up so I can just do what I need to do and not get all mushy about it?