An Oldie but a Goodie...

Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and had to summarize exactly what happened in a few words or less on insurance accident forms. The following quotes were taken from the forms and published in the “St. Paul Dispatch” July 26, 1977. Keep in mid these are actual attempts made by policy holders to describe how and why their accidents occurred:

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down, but found out it was up when I put my hand through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove in to a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day, and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for four years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctors with rear trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as I backed in the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my vehicle, and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced of my car.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as I left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cow.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and the passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

And while I'm at it - here's another good laugh:

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I knowwhere my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch whenI ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room forthe T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change thechannel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damnright! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people dothis? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, Ipaid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me achoice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, thenthere has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then theremust have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damnthing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus comeyet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?