So tell me –
Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….
This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...
Me: We’re going to get a roll.
Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.
Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.
Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.
Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.
Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.
Me: I’m not coming.
Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.
In the kitchen at work –
Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.
My Arm: Watch me as I make it.
Me: I’m not eating it.
My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.
Me: I hate you.
Later on at lunch time –
Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.
Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.
Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.
Me: Nope.
Me: Its just one little piece.
Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.
Me: You suck.
Me: Yes but you love me.
Driving to the bank -
Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.
Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.
Me: I’ll eat that too.
Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.
Me: This was your idea, not mine.
Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.
Me: You might, but I’m not.
Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?
Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.
Me: No bagels. You hear me?
Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…
Does this constitute for a split personality? Mind you, its PMS time….
This morning I decided I didn’t want my blah oatmeal for breakfast. No, I wanted something else. Something bad for me. Even though I like my oatmeal and I know its good for my cholesterol, I had my heart set on one of those butter rolls in the front office...
Me: We’re going to get a roll.
Me: No, we’re having oatmeal.
Me: No, I told you I don’t want that. I want butter.
Me: No, you don’t. You wont feel good after you eat it, then you’ll complain about feeling fat and depressed. You’re eating oatmeal.
Me: But I don’t WANT oatmeal.
Me: Yes you do. Come with me to the kitchen so we can make it.
Me: I’m not coming.
Me: Yes you are now shut up. God you’re such a little bitch sometimes.
In the kitchen at work –
Me: I told you I don’t want oatmeal.
My Arm: Watch me as I make it.
Me: I’m not eating it.
My Arm: It's done. Now you have to eat it.
Me: I hate you.
Later on at lunch time –
Me: We have a piece of pizza for lunch.
Me: Yes and we are eating half now and half at 2:00.
Me: What? You’re crazy. We’re hungry so we’re eating it all now.
Me: Nope.
Me: Its just one little piece.
Me: Trust me on this, you’ll thank me later. Little meals more often. Half now, half later. You’ll feel full, don’t worry.
Me: You suck.
Me: Yes but you love me.
Driving to the bank -
Me: I’m going to sneak over to the bagel place and get a fresh everything bagel with butter on it.
Me: Oh no you’re not. You have the other half of your pizza to eat.
Me: I’ll eat that too.
Me: You can’t have both. You’re defeating the purpose of this whole eating smaller meals more often thing.
Me: This was your idea, not mine.
Me: We’re not eating a bagel. We’re waiting for 2:00 and then eating our pizza.
Me: You might, but I’m not.
Me: I'm not letting you out of the car. How are you going to get there?
Me: The legs will do it. They want bagels too.
Me: No bagels. You hear me?
Me: So I guess I shouldn’t tell you about the chocolate Kiss we ate when you weren’t looking…
posted by Sp00kalot at 1:43 PM
8 Comments:
LOOK at me posting on your site.
I understand the multiple personality decision making skills.
I totally have to convince myself to buy clothes and I swear, when buying something over $40, I have to have discussions with myself for AT LEAST an hour.
I'm a dork!
You are absolutely SO cute and funny I cannot stand it. :)
Oh good Schmidt, makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not alone in this. And thanks for stopping in! It was getting lonely over here.
Z- which me are you talking about? One of us isnt so cute sometimes.
No. As a professional, I would worry about split personality issues, Amy.
This post suggests total personality disintegration and depersonaliztion, especially once your arm starts talking. They're working on a new med for this so hang in.
"Personality disintegration and depersonaliztion" - hmmm sounds... comforting... Good to know there's a name for it though.
I just came back to re-visit because my laptop went wonka when I tried to post a comment earlier and i didn't think it posted. It was just my name that didn't post. That was your favorite bloggin' tongue-in-cheek therapist- and it was supposed to say "I wouldn't worry about split personality..." Send me your snail mail again over there in New Jersey or wherever. I have the mother of all (small) Lake Superior agates for your stone collection. I'll enclose meds, too.
LOL. I feel the same way, except the evil twin always seems to win out in my case.
Classic, Amy! I love it!
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