BRAIN FART AWARDS

First Place -
To the girl down at our McDonalds, who asked me when I ordered a
plain cheeseburger, if I "wanted the meat with that."

Tied for Second Place -
To Steve, who kindly dumped the remaining half of his water bottle
into my fake plant.

For Amy, who realized the hard way that you have to remove the tampon
applicator.

For Earl, who thought only the stink bug would catch fire if he shot
it point blank with a torch - on the couch.

For Little Joe, who put Tiger Balm on his eyelids because Earl told
him it would feel good.

For Earl and friends, who thought it would be cool to catch the hackie sack on fire and then kick it into a tree.

For Michelle, who thought lettuce grew in trees (and was collected
like coconuts).

For Amy, who poured the oil in deep fryer and not in the crock that goes inside the deep fryer.

For Kevin, who thought it would be funny to drive Mr. Daschke's car
into the pond.

For Earl and Kenny, who slammed into the back of a brand new Cadillac because they were looking at the police officer behind them (Kenny was driving.)

For Chris Stevens, who lit a bottle rocket and threw it in the air directly above Amy's hair.

For Earl, who threw the Chinese Throwing Star so hard it bounced off the wall and hit Amy in the eye.

For Cane, who when Earl told him to "put your throat in my hands", he did.

For Tex, who got hit in the thigh with a red paint ball from Earl's paint ball gun, and thought someone had really shot him.

For Keri, who fell down the stairs looking for ghosts in Amy's basement.

For Amy, who thought salt looked good enough to chug.

For Jack and Ozzy, who thought they could pull an entire turkey off
the stove and eat it, bones and all, without getting sick or having anyone find out.

For Tabi, who thought you could flush a dish towel.

For Earl, who thought the flame would stop at the end of the string
when he tried to singe it off Amy's 100% polyester pants - while she was wearing them.

For Michelle, who thought chicks were their own species and remained
chicks their entire life.

For Julie's brother, who decided to stick his hand in the spokes while
he was riding his bike.

For Amy, who, just for shits and giggles, drove across the highway
with someone on the hood of the car, only to be reported by the
mayor's father and caught by the chief of police who now works with
her.

To be continues as life goes on...