Seems like a typical day for me here at work, only a bit more intense – I’m seriously frustrated with coworkers, maybe even a little angrier than normal. The woman I share my office with wont shut up about what funny things her grandkids said the night before, and I tell you, I don’t even have enough energy to respond with my uncaring nod and fake smile. People seem to be at each other’s throats a little more, problems with inventory numbers, my boss forgot the ad was due today AGAIN, lack of communication between managers, and departments blaming other departments for mistakes. Typical, but I’ll check the moon tonight, just in case I should be more prepared tomorrow. I’m just trying to make it through another day.
I ate my lunch and listened to a fellow coworker describe why the food she is eating is part of her new diet, when I can clearly see, it can’t be. She honestly believes that smothering Caesar dressing over her salad that is big enough for two people is not a bad thing. I make one attempt to explain that she should substitute that dressing with my red wine vinegar (2 calories for 1 tsp, and 0 everything else) and tell her to at least split the salad in two, thus reducing her portion size, and try eating the other half later today to keep her metabolism burning. She nods her head but insists she probably wont want to eat later and continues to eat until she has finished the salad, and moves on to a cup of minestrone soup.
I know she will eat later, she eats all day long. The entire front office eats all day long. Now, eating all day long can be a good thing if you eat the right foods and the right portion sizes. But their office consists of cookies, bread, chips etc. I heard her say many times before that she won’t eat later and I am just so tired of the denial.
As a last attempt, I throw out my little fire story; how it will burn longer and stronger when little twigs are feed to it every few hours than if one huge log is thrown on it. She cracks open a soda and starts munching on a brownie. I give up and leave her be. Funny thing is, her diet will probably work. She’ll loose weight with Caesar dressing and brownies while I fail with vinegar and salads the size of your hand.
Next, another coworker tells me that she is also dieting but has an addiction to peanuts. I tell her that a handful of nuts are good for her. She however, likes to eat an entire can a day, and is concerned because the can is $4, so $4 x 5 days a week, well that’s $20 down the drain. I suggest her concern should be more about the hundreds of calories and fat grams she is consuming with every can, x 5 days a week... but she is confused with how this will effect her weight...
And let's not forget my office mate who tried to convince me (me, the one who does 3-4 kickboxing and pilates classes a week that leave me drowning in sweat and barely able to walk the next day) that walking on her treadmill for 10 minutes, bouncing on her yoga ball and lifting it over her head for the last two days, in addition to watching her diet by eating just a hotdog and beans for dinner and snacking on Cheetos because they are low in sugar, has resulted in her losing 3 pounds. Gee, maybe I should try her weight loss program...
Have you ever just decided you have no energy to deal with people, and just Shut. Yourself. Up.
I really need my nap now. I know I have to wait until 4:30 when its Earl’s turn to drive, but I need it now.
I think chocolate would help right about now. Just a small piece, enough to comfort me. But I know it will just leave me wanting more. I had a cup of lemon tea and that was great while it lasted. Now it’s gone and I feel I need something. If I were allowed to leave early, I’m sure that feeling would go away on its own.
One of my less annoying coworkers started a game of Guess Who with me. We have these forms called “The Guide to Recording Suspicious Person Description” from the Safety and Security Information for Federal Firearms Licenses ATF Tracing Center which allows you to describe someone’s physical features, what they are wearing, the car they may be driving, etc. So in between projects I have been trying to describe someone in the building so that he can guess who it is. It’s amazing how you can see someone every day but when asked if he wears glasses, you can’t remember.
Try it. Think of someone and answer the standard questions below that were copied right off the form. See if anyone can guess whom you’re describing. You don’t have to say exactly what they are wearing today, but rather what style they usual sport. I have described someone below to start the game, see if you can guess who it is -
SEX: M
RACE: White
AGE: 37
HEIGHT: 5’11”
WEIGHT: 190
WEAPON TYPE: His brain
HAIR: Curley brown
GLASSES TYPE: wire w/ round lens
COMPLEXION: clear w/ goatee
SCARS/MARKS: no
TATTOOS: yes (Jacob’s wagon wheel?)
JEWELRY: ring?
HAT (color, type): no
TIE: perhaps at work
SHIRT: button up (no pull-overs, please!)
COAT: I hope so
TROUSERS: jeans or Dockers
SHOES: brown casual
AUTO LICENSE, MAKE, COLOR: No idea
DIRECTION OF TRAVEL: Around and around Missouri
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: very smart, likes to read, nice guy, may like Karaoke a little too much
I ate my lunch and listened to a fellow coworker describe why the food she is eating is part of her new diet, when I can clearly see, it can’t be. She honestly believes that smothering Caesar dressing over her salad that is big enough for two people is not a bad thing. I make one attempt to explain that she should substitute that dressing with my red wine vinegar (2 calories for 1 tsp, and 0 everything else) and tell her to at least split the salad in two, thus reducing her portion size, and try eating the other half later today to keep her metabolism burning. She nods her head but insists she probably wont want to eat later and continues to eat until she has finished the salad, and moves on to a cup of minestrone soup.
I know she will eat later, she eats all day long. The entire front office eats all day long. Now, eating all day long can be a good thing if you eat the right foods and the right portion sizes. But their office consists of cookies, bread, chips etc. I heard her say many times before that she won’t eat later and I am just so tired of the denial.
As a last attempt, I throw out my little fire story; how it will burn longer and stronger when little twigs are feed to it every few hours than if one huge log is thrown on it. She cracks open a soda and starts munching on a brownie. I give up and leave her be. Funny thing is, her diet will probably work. She’ll loose weight with Caesar dressing and brownies while I fail with vinegar and salads the size of your hand.
Next, another coworker tells me that she is also dieting but has an addiction to peanuts. I tell her that a handful of nuts are good for her. She however, likes to eat an entire can a day, and is concerned because the can is $4, so $4 x 5 days a week, well that’s $20 down the drain. I suggest her concern should be more about the hundreds of calories and fat grams she is consuming with every can, x 5 days a week... but she is confused with how this will effect her weight...
And let's not forget my office mate who tried to convince me (me, the one who does 3-4 kickboxing and pilates classes a week that leave me drowning in sweat and barely able to walk the next day) that walking on her treadmill for 10 minutes, bouncing on her yoga ball and lifting it over her head for the last two days, in addition to watching her diet by eating just a hotdog and beans for dinner and snacking on Cheetos because they are low in sugar, has resulted in her losing 3 pounds. Gee, maybe I should try her weight loss program...
Have you ever just decided you have no energy to deal with people, and just Shut. Yourself. Up.
I really need my nap now. I know I have to wait until 4:30 when its Earl’s turn to drive, but I need it now.
I think chocolate would help right about now. Just a small piece, enough to comfort me. But I know it will just leave me wanting more. I had a cup of lemon tea and that was great while it lasted. Now it’s gone and I feel I need something. If I were allowed to leave early, I’m sure that feeling would go away on its own.
One of my less annoying coworkers started a game of Guess Who with me. We have these forms called “The Guide to Recording Suspicious Person Description” from the Safety and Security Information for Federal Firearms Licenses ATF Tracing Center which allows you to describe someone’s physical features, what they are wearing, the car they may be driving, etc. So in between projects I have been trying to describe someone in the building so that he can guess who it is. It’s amazing how you can see someone every day but when asked if he wears glasses, you can’t remember.
Try it. Think of someone and answer the standard questions below that were copied right off the form. See if anyone can guess whom you’re describing. You don’t have to say exactly what they are wearing today, but rather what style they usual sport. I have described someone below to start the game, see if you can guess who it is -
SEX: M
RACE: White
AGE: 37
HEIGHT: 5’11”
WEIGHT: 190
WEAPON TYPE: His brain
HAIR: Curley brown
GLASSES TYPE: wire w/ round lens
COMPLEXION: clear w/ goatee
SCARS/MARKS: no
TATTOOS: yes (Jacob’s wagon wheel?)
JEWELRY: ring?
HAT (color, type): no
TIE: perhaps at work
SHIRT: button up (no pull-overs, please!)
COAT: I hope so
TROUSERS: jeans or Dockers
SHOES: brown casual
AUTO LICENSE, MAKE, COLOR: No idea
DIRECTION OF TRAVEL: Around and around Missouri
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: very smart, likes to read, nice guy, may like Karaoke a little too much
posted by Sp00kalot at 1:58 PM
4 Comments:
Man, I don't know who that guy is you are describing, but I'd sure like to have sex with him.
EWWWwwww
heheheh... with the last clue and then Jen's comment I could hazzard a guess that it might be Dereck, but never having seen the man, I might be getting myself in trouble. Maybe there is some other guy she wants to have sex with... Who knows?
hehehehehe
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