Okay. First thing in the morning and two of my female coworkers are ogling about Tiger Woods and his amazing golf game last night. They were all giddy about one shot he made, where the ball came right up to the hole, paused, and dropped in.
Woman # 1: “That was God. God did that.”
Woman # 2: “God, yes. It was God. God wanted him to win. Tiger said he wanted to win it for his dad, so God said, you know what? You deserve this and He gave that game to Tiger.”
I looked at Woman # 1, and she just nodded her head, “It was God.”
Arggggggg. Are these women for real???
PEOPLE - Do you think that God gives a FLYING CRAP about golf? Or about Tiger winning again? Do you think God spends His time watching over Tiger's game instead of creating new planets or whatever He does? Tiger says to God, "God please let me win this and God says, Hey for you Tiger, anything... plop, There ya go kid"... There isn’t the slightest possibility that the ball fell in on it’s own? That maybe, just MAYBE it was barely holding on and oh, I don’t know, GRAVITY pulled the ball into the hole??? Maybe there was something helping it too, something crazy... like the wind?
Ohhhhh. Big sigh, people. Big ass freak'n sigh.
Then again, maybe they're right. I think I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said God Loves Golf. Maybe he does. Maybe he really, really does.
Woman # 1: “That was God. God did that.”
Woman # 2: “God, yes. It was God. God wanted him to win. Tiger said he wanted to win it for his dad, so God said, you know what? You deserve this and He gave that game to Tiger.”
I looked at Woman # 1, and she just nodded her head, “It was God.”
Arggggggg. Are these women for real???
PEOPLE - Do you think that God gives a FLYING CRAP about golf? Or about Tiger winning again? Do you think God spends His time watching over Tiger's game instead of creating new planets or whatever He does? Tiger says to God, "God please let me win this and God says, Hey for you Tiger, anything... plop, There ya go kid"... There isn’t the slightest possibility that the ball fell in on it’s own? That maybe, just MAYBE it was barely holding on and oh, I don’t know, GRAVITY pulled the ball into the hole??? Maybe there was something helping it too, something crazy... like the wind?
Ohhhhh. Big sigh, people. Big ass freak'n sigh.
Then again, maybe they're right. I think I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said God Loves Golf. Maybe he does. Maybe he really, really does.
posted by Sp00kalot at 9:32 AM
8 Comments:
And just who do you suppose controls the wind and gravity?
God.
Clearly,it was GOD.
And why do you think God made the Tsunami happen?
So Tiger Woods could get that shot.
That's how it works, see.
Best bumper sticker I've seen of late (since you mention the God Loves Golf bumper sticker):
Abstinence in '04
No Bush, No Dick
I know it's old, but I didn't see it at all during the actual campaigns... I nearly choked on my latte driving down the road when Keith read it to me. I thought it was hysterical. :)
HAHAHAHA!! Keri that was funny! I hadn't seen that one!!
Oh Jen, thanks for enlightning me. I've been so foolish.
I know the feeling.
My mom told me last night that God didn't approve of my husband's new tattoo, not that we give a flying fuck, but I had to get something to piss her off the next time we're there.
I ordered him a "Baby Jesus Loves My Tattoo" shirt. Wee!
I hate to have to burst your coworker’s bubble, but was not God. It was in fact my spleen. My spleen has been influencing sporting events with miraculous regularity ever since my father forced my to watch my first boxing match. It was clear to me that the only way I could ever enjoy sports on television was to fantasize that I could actually influence them. One night, soon after that realization, my spleen came to me in a dream and told me since the spleen was the seat of the will in Oriental medicine and since the world, as Schopenhaur noted is nothing but will and representation, that I could use my spleen to further the career of any athlete I liked. I have to be careful though, the crashing skier on Wild World of Sports that followed the tag line “the agony of defeat” – that was me. I nearly killed the poor basted wanking his jump like that. I sent him right into the trees. Ah well, with great power comes great responsibility.
Oh Karl, you must use your powers for good, not evil. Repent, repent.
Man, the sacrilege that goes on around here. You better watch it or you'll end up in Hell eating dinner out of a basket. Karl- would your spleen like to meet my uterus? Together they could wreak havoc. Maybe they could get hockey back.
Vicki you are too damn funny!! What a creepy thought! What if we lived in parallel universe and while Earl and I were eating at a bar, the rest of those guys were in hell eating out of baskets! What if its the same basket every night too... what if its the same TV show... OH my dog.
I'll just have to go back and check it out...
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